Money problems in relationships: 17 signs your relationship has money issues. How to know if your marriage/relationship has money troubles.
A good relationship might be the key to financial independence.
Conversely, a relationship with money trouble could take you down like a sinking ship.
It could really be the thing that holds you back financially for your entire life.
Of course, it’s natural to have some disagreements about money in a relationship.
But if you find yourself constantly disagreeing about money, you might have a relationship with money problems on your hands.
In this post, I will show you 17 signs of money problems in relationships.
Let’s dive in.
Money Problems in Relationships: 17 Signs Your Relationship Has Money Troubles
Money Problems in Relationships: 17 Signs Your Relationship Has Money Troubles
1. You Don’t Talk About Money
If you are scared to talk about money with your partner, you have a classic money-problems relationship.
Simply put, you must be able to have an honest conversation about money in a relationship.
If you don’t talk about money, it will lead to arguments or financial trouble down the road.
Talking about money is also a good way to test the level of honesty in your relationship.
I mean, if your partner is willing to lie about money, what else are they willing to lie about?
2. Different Financial Goals
Even if you and your partner like each other a lot and are the best of friends, that connection could eventually fall apart if you have different financial goals.
For example, if one person wants to own a house and the other doesn’t, that could become an argument down the road.
Another example could be a couple that disagrees on paying down debt. If one person is ok with paying down debt slowly but the other wants to get rid of it as soon as possible, it could become an issue.
Furthermore, if one partner wants to waste $100,000 on a wedding but the other just wants to elope for as low of a cost as possible, you will have another financial issue to bicker about.
3. You Spend Different
Another bad sign for a relationship is that you spend different.
If one person is frugal and the other is a spender, you could find yourself in a never-ending argument.
If one person wants to save for retirement and the other is ok with maxing out their credit cards to travel, you will have money troubles to disagree on.
Alternatively, if one person prefers to cook at home to save money and the other wants to eat out all the time, you might have an improper balance.
4. You Have To Go Into Debt To Appease Your Relationship
One of the biggest financial warning signs for a relationship is that you have to go into debt to appeal to your partner.
It could be that you are dating out of your league, so you rack up credit card debt to impress your partner—that’s problematic.
Unless you can find a way to increase your income, the way your relationship works will be unsustainable.
Another example could be overextending yourself with a high mortgage payment or expensive lifestyle to keep a partner happy.
If your partner wants you to go into debt for them, tell them to get a job.
Either that or explain to them how money works and that it’s out of your budget.
If they don’t understand, you have yourself a classic money-problems relationship.
5. Your Partner Refuses Or Can’t Afford To Split Outings
We live in a society that is pushing for equality. I’m all for it.
As such, any reasonable relationship should be able to split the cost of outings.
If you go out for dinner, split the cost or take turns paying for it.
The same goes for a trip. If you are travelling, you should able to split the costs. Perhaps one person can pay for the hotel and the other can pay for meals. Fair couples can create a fair budget.
If your partner has a problem with splitting outings, they either don’t believe in equality or they are taking advantage of you because they are lazy.
6. Frequent Borrowing From You Or Parents
Another troubling sign to avoid is a partner that borrows frequently from you or your parents.
If you notice that your partner borrows money from their parents in the early stages of dating, you already know what they are going to expect from you in the long term.
This kind of behaviour could mean your partner does not have a realistic outlook on life yet. They might have it too easy.
In my opinion, a good partner shouldn’t have to take from you. They should be an addition to your life.
7. Can’t Retain A Job
You know what’s worse than a partner who is bad at managing money?
A partner that can’t even make money.
If your partner is constantly getting fired, there’s probably a good chance that they are lazy or have a bad attitude.
Frankly, you have to be pretty bad at a job to get fired nowadays. Companies are basically not even allowed to fire people.
So, if your partner can’t hold down a job, they will probably expect you to take care of them.
8. Your Partner Has A Flashy Instagram Lifestyle
You know the type…
Gucci belts, multiple pairs of Jordans, BMW photos, and expensive nights out all the time.
Yet, they still live in their parents’ basement.
If your partner has that flashy Instagram lifestyle but they can’t even afford to take care of themselves, you already know what their bank account looks like.
9. You Don’t Make Big Financial Decisions Together
If you are in a serious relationship that manages money together, you should make big financial decisions together.
Big purchases, such as cars, homes, or anything that costs enough to affect your financial situation, should be a joint decision.
If you have an impulsive partner that randomly comes home and tells you they bought a car, your partner is probably bad with money.
Ultimately, this forces one person in the relationship to be the responsible one. In turn, they get to splurge less on themselves.
10. You Have To Pay The Bills
If your partner expects you to pay the bills, or if they are frequently late with paying you, they likely have money problems they are not telling you about.
There should be a reasonable explanation as to why they cannot come up with their half of the bills.
It could be that they are hiding debt from you, or it maybe they are spending the money on something else.
Either way, it’s only fair to split the bills and cost of groceries in an equal relationship.
This is 2021, not 1950.
11. Your Partner Has No Savings Or Assets
If your partner is a full-grown adult that works, they should have some savings and assets to their name.
If they don’t, they better be aggressively paying off debt.
Otherwise, you have a financially illiterate partner on your hands.
In the internet age, it’s possible for anyone to create a financial planning checklist.
If they are just blowing every dollar that they make, they will likely continue to do this even when their income rises.
In which case, you should be able to talk to them about money so they can start paying themselves first a percentage of their income.
If this conversation doesn’t go well, this partner will hold you back financially for the rest of your life.
12. One Of You Has Mountains Of Debt
If your partner has mountains of debt and you are debt-free, there will be an unequal balance in your relationship.
Even if you both make the same income, the partner with debt will have less cash flow to spend on outings.
They won’t have as much money to contribute to the household.
So, this is something you must consider if you are going to be in a relationship with a debtor.
You might have to help them out from time to time, which will subtract from your income.
13. Your Partner Would Be Lost Financially Without You
If you and your partner split up, would they be able to manage their financial situation the same without you?
Would they be able to maintain the same lifestyle, or could they handle basic things like budgeting or completing their own taxes?
If not, they better be bringing a lot of other qualities to the table.
Because if they would be lost without you financially, they are putting a lot of responsibility on you.
14. Your Partner Is Jealous Of Your Income
In a good relationship, partners support each other’s careers, regardless of how much more successful one is compared to the other.
Your partner’s success should also be your success. You should be happy for them. Furthermore, it should motivate you to want to do better.
If one partner is jealous of the other’s income, though, you could have a big problem on your hands.
Ultimately, this would lead to insecurity for the lower-earning partner. That could lead to resentment.
An insecure partner that is jealous of the other’s success will lead to arguments or worse.
15. You Both Don’t Make Enough
If both you and your partner don’t make enough to pay the bills, you will probably fight.
Simply put, lack of money is one of the main things couples fight about.
An unhappiness with your financial situation could leak into other areas of your relationship.
It could prevent you from being able to have fun together. If you can’t spend quality time together or do the things you enjoyed at the start of your relationship, or if you have to work all the time to pay the bills, your relationship will cease to be as good.
16. Your Partner Trades Or Invests Money Blindly
One of the ugliest to waste money is to lose is through blind investments.
I mean, at least you get a product or service if you overspend it.
But if you have a partner that speculates on stocks, even though they don’t know what they are doing, that can be painful.
It could easily cause resentment.
I’ve heard real stories of couples that have been in this situation.
Without naming anyone, someone once told me their partner tried to trade cannabis stocks when they were legalized.
They failed to manage risk properly and had no idea what they were doing. As a result, they lost over $15,000 of their life savings…
That could certainly cause an argument or two.
17. A Gambling Partner
At least with investing, you can manage risk and get educated about what you are investing in.
But with gambling, it’s the same as flipping a coin.
Frankly, I think you should be furious if your partner frequently gambles away your money and gets nothing in return.
The worst-case scenario is that your partner could develop a gambling addiction that could cost you everything.
Money Problems in Relationships – Final Thoughts
A relationship that exhibits any of these 17 issues is what I refer to as a money-problems relationship.
Money problems in relationships can lead to stress, fights, breakups, or even divorces.
Fortunately, if you and your partner are able to talk about money, most of the other issues can be solved.
Hence why I listed talking about money as the number one money problem for relationships.
If you and your partner are able to have an honest conversation about money, everything else should fall into place.
Now I’d like to hear from you. What money problems in relationships have you noticed? Any other issues I missed?
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